Funky

The culprit. 

Hello, my friends! I have missed you all for the past couple of months. And even though I have thought about y'all frequently, I have to say that I've been in a blue funk ever since October; which translates into very few blog posts.

I am not hiding under my bedcovers with a kleenex box dabbing away tears; this doesn't feel like that. I have lots of joyful days. Like when we have gatherings, like our awesome massive Thanksgiving weekend, I enjoy every moment thoroughly. But after everyone had gone, I could feel the funk creeping back.

I have thought long and hard about my blue cloud following me around, and I've come up with a few reasons why it's there.

First, I have had significant problems with getting restful sleep at night. Everyone knows what a measure of sleep deprivation will do to a person; like alter moods, and cause someone like me to do very stupid things.

An example, you say? Well. At Thanksgiving, I had one or two bottles of sparkling mineral water at each table and several bottles were left over. I love the stuff so have been filling my insulated mug with ice and mineral water routinely. I went shopping the other day, and thought I would bring some of the bubbly with me. Instead of my trusty insulated mug, I chose to pour the stuff into my auto seal sports bottle, tossed it into my purse, and fired up Sadie. We cruised into a nearby shopping center. After a few laps around the store, my mouth was bone dry. I stuck my lips around the sports bottle's opening and clicked the button to release the seal. I can't even begin to describe the resulting sound that came out of that bottle......and ME. I had been sloshing the bottle around my bag, which caused the carbonation to get extra fizzy, so when the seal was opened, air rushed into my mouth AND OUT MY NOSE. It sounded like.......like......nothing I have ever heard before. Oh my gosh.

And of course, it happened while I was surrounded by other shoppers. Yeah.

But back to my main point -- I was so sleep deprived and brain fogged that it never occurred to me that it wouldn't be a good idea to put a highly carbonated drink into a sealed container. I'm happy to report that things have definitely improved lately in the sleep department. Here's hoping that it continues.

Secondly: This will be the first round of major holidays for me without Mom. Every time I grab my recipe box or one of her cookbooks and see her distinctive handwriting on recipes that she shared with me, I am reminded of her and the fact that she is no longer here. As I unpack Christmas tree ornaments, and hang all those that she made and gave me, my heart strings are pulled. And don't even get me started on the subject of baking Christmas cookies. Zowie.

I think the loss of Mom is the major reason for my on again, off again experience with the blues. I'm hoping that after we make one cycle of the calendar and all of it's holidays, that it will be a little easier to hang her handmade ornaments on the tree come next Christmas.

The good news is that after taking the time to try to understand my mood and what could be the contributing factors to my blue funk, to really mull things over, to look at it objectively, I feel better. I really do. And rather than blocking my memories of Mom, I am embracing them and focusing on the joy that they bring. This is hard, but I think it is a good strategy for me.

With better sleep behind me, and a strategy for dealing with my grief, it has been easier for me to click on the "COMPOSE" button for Reasonably Well and begin to type. I am grateful for the resulting uptick in my mood. For whatever reason.

I am also grateful that mineral water didn't squirt out my nose after the carbonation made my cheeks flap and my nose vibrate. In the store. In front of everyone there.That would have been super bad.

I hope that everyone had a fabulous Thanksgiving, and are looking forward to all of the December holidays.

Guys. We need to have another online Christmas party again this year! Someone will have to be responsible for keeping Terese out of the chocolate fondue this time, though. Hm. Any volunteers?