I am sitting next to Mom's hospital bed listening to her being evaluated by a rehab therapist and it is breaking my heart. She is trying so hard! Unlike her pre stroke self, she is struggling as staff attempt to define the areas of her brain affected by her stroke.
Her inability to remember Dad's death causes her piercing grief every time that she is reminded. Gently reminded, but there is simply no way to deliver that kind of information without causing her to feel a fresh wave of pain. We don't bring up the topic, but she will ask, "How is Dad?" and we tell her the truth.
It's cruelly ironic that this should be evident on Groundhogs Day. Remember the movie by the same name in which the main character lives the same day over and over and over?
I have four siblings, all of which are here. We take turns to ensure that one of us is by her side for her waking hours. Although we can't bring Dad back, we can envelop her with our support and love.
We are bracing for a blizzard here in Wisconsin, and after buying myself a pair of snow boots and an enormous scarf, I think I'm ready. I think I will ride out the storm here at the hospital where Mom and I can watch it all from her sixth floor room which has an enormous window.
I am sorry that I have neglected my blog, but I am certain that y'all understand.
Now go hug your Mom should you be so lucky to have one nearby.
Tuesday, February 2, 2016
Hello Again
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8 comments:
I'm sending you, your dear Mom, and your siblings my love and prayers.
So, so sorry you're going thru this heart wrenching time. My prayers, also, to you and your family. xoxo
You and your family are in my prayers.
I know that we've never met, but your blog helps me cope immensely. I'm sending thoughts and prayers for you and your Mom.
Big hugs to you, your Mom, and all of your family. You've done a lot for your readers by sharing on your blog. Wish we could return the favor now.
Think of you
Love and prayers for comfort, peace and healing for your mom and comfort and strength for you and your siblings, Julia.
If she keeps forgeting dad's death, don't tell her the truth, he is 'elsewhere' and can't get there at the moment. I went through this with dad when he asked where mum was, I didn't tell him. Someone told me the story that Margaret Thatcher kept asking about Dennis, when she was told each time she repeated the grieving process. Sometimes ignorance is best. Best wishes to you and yours, I hope you find strength.
Julia don't worry about the blog. It will still be here when you are home.
I can't imagine the anguish felt when you and your siblings must tell your mom about your dad.
Your folks raised wonderful kids. Look at what you all are doing for your mom with love.
I will keep you all in my prayers.
Deb
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