I Feel Safer Already

Lulu takes her job very seriously. 

Sargent Lulu McSchnauzerPants at your service, ma'am. I understand that you're looking for a security guard. Well. Look no more. I'm on the job. 

Yessiree. Just put your feet up, (Hey. Nice slippers.) and relax. 

I conduct my surveillance from all angles. This way....

.....and that way. 

But before we go any further in this discussion, let's talk about my fees, shall we?

I charge a hefty twenty chin skritches per hour. Non-negotiable.