Photo mine.
I met Terese for lunch yesterday, during which I had an experience that reminded me yet again of the power of this dumb stupid disease. And no, this time I can't blame Terese for ANYTHING. Dang. She's usually so handy for that sort of thing. No, this little Strange Julia incident is all mine. Pure and simple. It went like this:
I walked into the building from the parking lot and we greeted each other, after which I pointed out the window.
"Hey, Terese! Did you see that blue SUV?"
She looked puzzled.
"It looks EXACTLY like yours!"
"Julia. That's because it IS mine. Remember?"
Sigh. What was I thinking? How could I have walked past that car and recognize that Terese had one of the same color, with the same stuff hanging from her rear-view mirror, and the same license plate (for goodness sake?!).......but not realize that not only did it look like Terese's car, but it actually WAS her car? How does that kind of a disconnect happen?
There was nothing to do but laugh and wish that my brain had showed up along with the rest of me for our lunch date.
I'm writing off this weirdo brain fog incident to the fact that I didn't get much sleep the night before, and when I don't get enough sleep, I'm much more likely to have experiences like these. The first time that my brain went missing due to brain fog, I panicked big time. And the second and third and fourth time.....but now after all these years, even though I'm frustrated and embarrassed, at least I have an awareness of why these incidents happen. And I know that if I just sit somewhere quietly to rest and collect my thoughts, the fog clears.
How fortunate I am to have friends and family who understand those brain-foggy lapses.
4 comments:
I so know how you feel. A kind of panic ( how the heck could I be so stupid!)followed by depression when you realize how this must appear to others.When the brain farts happen with no one around to witness them they are bad enough but to have an audience? doubles the embarrassment. My mother has had sjogrens,RA and primary biliary cirrhosis for some time and my sisters and I used to kind of joke about my moms " vague moments" before. Since my own diagnosis I feel very badly for having been so cruel.I truly understand myself now.
When these things happen, I just tell myself to be thankful there's an explanation for it that's NOT early dementia. I have been having these moments since I was a teenager and to have a plausible explanation for them is actually a relief.
I think your description of it as a disconnect is not only metaphorically accurate and right on target as to how it FEELS when you have one of these moments, but is probably medically apt as well. A temporary gap or misfire in neurons up there in the gray matter.
Luckily, they don't seem to last too long. Now, what was I going to do next?
I can completely relate to these brain fog incidents. Sometimes the fog seems to be isolated events or can last for a few days at time for me. One of the biggest problems that I have had is that I can't remember what I am talking about in mid-sentence and I know that is not old-age! It can be a bit embarrassing. You are right having family and a few friends who are understand these mental hiccups is a gift.
I had such an incident just last week. I live across the street from a small shopping center...it has a butcher, a drugstore, a small
grocer's and various other stores, and I was heading to the drugstore. I had passed the second store and was muttering to myself "what store am I going into?" repeatedly, because I could not remember where I was going. By now, I know when this happens, I start panicking. Last week wasn't so bad I got out of my panic quickly but there are times when I'm far from home and really worried because I'm literally lost in transit.
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