Thar He Blows

Yes. That is indeed lawn furniture, a gas grill, and two patio rugs blown to places that they are not accustomed to being. 

I mentioned a few days back that I'm grinning because among other reasons, we have hired someone to paint our house. His name is Josh, and he's punctual, precise, and a very hard worker.

He's also going to give me a heart attack. The grin has changed to whatever my face looks like as I'm exclaiming OH. MY. GAWD!

Today is a beautiful, blue-skied, glorious day. It would be a perfect autumn day except for the fact that the wind is so strong and gusty that garbage cans, lawn furniture, and various small pets and children are not safe outdoors. I keep seeing random strange things blow by my window and wonder where they will end up.

(Somewhere in Idaho): "Hey, Myrtle! What's this? A schnauzer? WHERE did she come from?" ..::yap yap yap::.

Hm. Better keep Maggie and Lulu inside for most of the day. 

The reason that Josh is going to give me a coronary is because in spite of the wind, he keeps climbing up on his very tall aluminum ladder, hat turned backwards, paintbrush in hand and a bucket of paint attached to his ladder platform. He is painting the trim of our house at the TOP of three stories with one hand on his brush and the other grabbing the rain gutter so that the wind doesn't blow him and his painting stuff all the way down to the bottom of this 1,000 foot high extinct volcano.

Seriously. I, and a zillion others, live on an extinct volcano. But we can discuss the wisdom of this at another date. One in which I'm not nervously following a young painter guy around carrying my phone ready to speed dial 911.

So I kept looking out the windows to keep an eye on this guy, and at one point he actually dropped his grip on the rain gutter to wave and smile at me. With the wind gusting so hard that I swear his clothing was pasted flat against his body and cheeks were flapping.

Josh. Don't.....do......that.....I can't watch anymore....

I went outside to snag him once he came down from the peak. Josh. Aren't you worried you're going to get blown away? I'm worried that you're going to get blown away!

"Awww. At least you've got grass and bark dust down there. Once I fell off a house onto concrete. They said that I bounced." He smiled broadly.

Was he serious?

"I'm not worried about me. It's just that I was going to use my sprayer today and I'd just blow paint every which way. Can't be wasting paint."

Um, of course.

"And it just makes a big mess that I'd have to clean up later."

Sure. Your BLOOD SPATTERED ALL OVER MY DRIVEWAY would be so much easier to clean up than paint. Yep. Sure thing, big guy.

Get down from there THIS INSTANT, young man. Don't make me come up there...... 

He squinted appraisingly at the trees bent flat in the gale-force wind and a very large blue recycling container whistling by at eye level. "Probably should call it a day. Be back tomorrow."

After gathering up empty paint cans and tarps and various other items that had been blown around the yard, and promising me that he wouldn't be climbing another ladder for the day; he hopped into his white van and whistled cheerfully as he headed down the road.

I collapsed onto the couch. Painting this house is exhausting.