I Like To Move It Move It......

So if you think that the title of this post is all about the benefits of exercise, think again.

No. It's about the effects of Sjogren's syndrome on the gastrointestinal tract. Yeah.....sorry about that.

Although I do love that little Madagascar lemur king.

Even before I get going here, I would like to point out that my er....intestinal mobility issues....are NOT because I don't eat my fruits and veggies. Observe, ladies and gentlemen of the jury:

 Where non-refrigerated fruit hangs out at my house. I've always had a fruit basket on the corner of my kitchen counter no matter where I've lived. 

 yeah.....fingerprints all over the refrig, I know....

Yes, John and I just made a mondo grocery shopping trip last night, but I always have lots of produce around. What's more -- I actually eat it. We both do. I know for a fact that every day I get at least six servings of fruits and veggies in, sometimes even more. And it would just be the height of silliness to tell a sjoggie to drink more water. Honestly.

I've written before about the effects of Sjs on the digestive tract, if you need a refresher, read this, and I've followed up with several wah wah wah posts, one which included my new favorite soda: prune and seltzer water. Mmmm.

I shouldn't be surprised that things have rather.....slowed down.....but ah, there it is. Could be for a variety of reasons, Sjs just being one of them. Fiber and water and exercise are the solution to this issue, regardless of the cause. I've decided that I'm going to try to supplement my fiber with additional sources to my fruits and veggies, although I certainly plan to keep chowing down lots of good fresh organic produce.

So while browsing the "digestive" aisle in the local pharmacy, I was grumpily looking at labels and ingredients. I have tried taking products such as Metamucil with it's main ingredient psyllium before, but there's the issue of it's awful taste, and then the bloating and gas that follows. Yikes.

Then I saw a big bottle of what looked like candy. My interest was piqued. Candy? In the dumb stupid digestive aisle?

Well, now. Gummy fiber thingies.

And vitamin gummy thingies.

I snagged a couple of bottles and brought them home. And after cracking them open and chewing thoughtfully, realized that these little tidbits taste amazingly good.

Almost too good.

I can believe that a vitamin can be stuffed into a couple of candies, but five grams of fiber? In two little squishy thingies? I looked at the label and saw that the active ingredient in the fiber gummies is polydextrose, an indigestible polymer of glucose. Hm. I remember being amazed when my fourth-grade son explained to me what a polymer is. I still can't say as I understand.

But what I was wondering was if this or any other polymer that's supposed to zip along my digestive tract was actually good for me. I spent an hour or so reading all sorts of disgustingly complete scientific discussions about the effects of said product on poo, and well, I'm still not certain.

I did, however, have an opportunity to take the Poop Quiz, found here, complete with knee-slapping anecdotal comments such as, "Get out a #2 Pencil." and "Let's do-do this!" I suppose the fact that I found this funny doesn't say much about my sophistication level, does it? I had never heard the Riding The Porcelain Pony euphemism before. Tsk. Such an uneducated woman.

Actually, around here when the kids were little, John referred to the poo thing as Dropping The Big Anchor, which our children found side-splitting-ly hilarious, especially when someone IN OUR FAMILY (who has yet to step forward to accept blame) plugged up the toilet in our hotel bathroom at DisneyWorld and their dad came out of the bathroom shouting for extra towels and asking each of the kids menacingly, "Who did it? Who dropped THE BIG ANCHOR?" Which made each and every one of them collapse on the floor with exhaustion from shrieking with laughter.

Ahh. Good times.

 So the kids remember very little about DisneyWorld, but they still tell the anchor story. Loudly. In public places with lots of people around to look at my husband and shake their heads unbelievingly. I can't wait to see what they teach my grandchildren to say in reference to this most basic of bodily functions.

Where was I? Oh, right-o. Gummy fiber.

Well, I'm going to give them a Go. So to speak. I'll keep y'all informed in the most tactful manner possible.