I'll always put out my easy-as-can-be Advent candelabra.
I love the Christmas holiday season. I love everything about it: the food, the parties, the decorations, and the shopping. Usually by this point in Advent, I'd have most of my shopping done and my house completely decorated. In every corner, nook, and cranny.
But this year, everything seems to take just a little more effort.
I'm still loving the season, but the actual work involved in packing up the Thanksgiving stuff and then unpacking and arranging the Christmas stuff tires me out more.
Come to think of it, mostly anything will tire me out more over the last few months.
I don't know if it has anything to do with the addition of Lupus to my autoimmune collection, but I'm suspicious. I haven't had my follow-up appointment with Dr. Young Guy since the skin biopsy confirming Lupus, but I'm sure that my increased fatigue will be part of the discussion.
In the meantime, I've been thinking ahead of my traditional Christmas tasks with some twinges of anxiety; that is I did until I gave myself an attitude adjustment. Instead of angsting over what needs to be done, I've starting looking at each task and deciding IF it needs to be done.
Do I really need to put out every single decoration that I have simply because that's what I have done for decades? Which ones do I like best? Which ones can stay in the box until I look at them next year? And maybe I don't need to do as much baking and candy making as I have done in years past. I don't need to expend all that energy and I certainly don't need to eat all that stuff, either. I'm trying to decide which of these recipes are crucial, and which are just OK.
This is hard. I'm so attached to all our family traditions.
But I'm trying not to look at this as eliminating those traditions but instead just streamlining them so that I have the energy to enjoy the holiday instead of just surviving it.
Wish me luck. Change is hard.
5 comments:
It is okay to streamline and change traditions. I have very few decorations out this year either. Maybe you could have girlfriends come over and decorate while you gave orders. Make a party out of it. You buy the snacks and wine that makes you sick and they decorate. If I lived there I would love to help!
It was so hard for me when I realized I couldn't do it all any more. I cried at the rheumatologist's office 4 years ago just before Thanksgiving because I knew I couldn't meet the family's expectations. Except I think it was more MY expectations that I couldn't meet. I am slowly learning, and you are helping.
Wow, what timing! I just came off a prednisone bender, and the pain is almost completely back, the energy almost completely gone. I don't want to shower, because I want to make one more batch of candy before I have to give up. My husband-when I'm at my worst-will bathe me, but he thinks all the holiday crap is just that. Thanks for putting my brain into words!
Unfortunately, I've changed many things in the years since I got sick. I don't entertain anymore and hardly decorate. If I want to bake a few cookies, then I can't do anything else. Although I've accepted this, some family members still can't understand how debilitated we can get with our illness. It's their problem, I'm fine with my decision...I'm the one who has to live with the aftermath if I do more than I can, and it's so not worth the pain and agony.
You know, Christmas it's a spirit, so it's not a big deal if every little tinsel are not where they should be.
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