Humble Pie

I knew it was coming - the second I hit the PUBLISH button on the post entitled It's More Than I Can Handle. The one in which I blabbed only half in jest about my pastry prowess.

Ah, yes. I knew the minute that post hit the internet, all of my baking skills would go down the toilet. Because I would deserve it. So they did. Yep. Did you hear the flush?

And, of course, those skills were headed down the pipes on the weekend when I had invited several guests, all of whom love pie. Perfect, I thought. I'll really wow 'em.

Oh, brother.

So after assigning tasks to my minions, Karen, Sarah, and Sue, I started making pie. The apples were peeled and sweetened and spiced, and everyone waited for the perfect crust to appear to finish that caramel-apple pie.

I confidently began, but was aghast when my attempt turned out as a mealy, mushy blob. Sarah tried to salvage it, but it was too far gone. Just LOOK at it. It's even a weird color!

I determinedly threw out the offending stuff and began anew. I mixed and measured and started rolling out......and THAT batch was crummy as well. Grrrrr.......too dry. What?!? I knew that my ingredients were fresh and just fine. So obviously the problem was me.

Again, Sarah gave a remedial try, but to no avail. This batch at least made it onto a cookie sheet dusted with cinnamon and sugar. We munched on it as I wiped the perspiration from my brow and determined to try AGAIN. I don't give up my super powers easily. It was time to bring in the big guns - and use my mother's pie crust recipe. I dug it out of the recipe box and began just one more time. Karen was ready to throw in the towel, but she took one look at the fanatical crazed look in my eyes and resigned herself to washing one more load of dirty dishes - her minion assignment - although she couldn't resist laughing as I foggily chose mixing bowls far too small for the recipe. Three times. Sigh.

Ah, but the third time was the charm.

I also made a key lime pie, but it had a graham cracker crust. Graham cracker crusts are NOT authentic pie crusts. (Just watch my next one flop on a massively huge scale...)

The pie was delicious.

Dumb stupid pie.