The SWACs Are At It Again

Goldie - without my swimming suit inside. Doesn't she look all spiffy? I treated her to a bath. 

I've commented before about how much I enjoy the spirit and spunk of the senior water aerobics ladies over at the community center. Yep - The gang of amply endowed gals that mooned me on my first visit to the swimming pool locker room, God love 'em.

They've endeared themselves to me yet again.

I promised Terese that I would get my lazy butt over to the pool and swim with her yesterday. I've been battling a real fatigue episode over the last week, but determined that flare or no flare, I was going to be In. The. Pool. No excuses.

So I hopped into Goldie and zipped across town to the community center, smug with the knowledge that my packed swim bag was riding along with me in the back seat. And, as always happens when I'm absolutely certain about something, well, of course I should know better....

Because when I reached for my two piece swimming suit when I started to change out of my clothes in the locker room, I pulled out only the top half of my suit. I stuck my arm into my gym bag up to my armpit and rummaged around and sputtered with frustration. My swim shorts weren't there. Even after I dumped everything out onto the floor.

Dang.

Two of the senior water aerobics class ladies, (SWACs. I like it.) were watching me with amusement.

One asked,"What's the matter?"

Grumble grumble grumble.....I forgot to bring my swimsuit bottoms. Sigh. Stomp foot.

The other asked, "What color underwear are you wearing?"

Blink. What?

"Underwear. You are wearing underwear?"

Uh, of course. It's, uh...black.

The first SWAC said, "Polyester or cotton?"

Well...it's...um...polyester, I think.

"Well, for crying out loud. Just wear your underwear."

I actually thought seriously about it for about three seconds.

The second SWAC hastily commented, "Wait! REMEMBER LAST WEEK?"

I sat down on the changing bench. This sounded good.

"Oh, right. THE MAN."

The man??

"Yes. A MAN came into the pool wearing nothing but his whitey-tighties. His skivvies. His underpants."

First SWAC hooted with laughter. "Yeah. Could see everything."

They both cackled for a good thirty seconds, then one turned to look at me seriously.

"They threw him out. You might want to reconsider parading around in your underwear, honey."

Um. I think you're right.... (Not that it was my idea in the first place, girls....)

Still giggling, I headed over to confess to Terese that I hadn't actually brought anything to swim in.

Ah. I SO want to be just like them when I grow up.