So I gingerly stretched out, then stepped onto the track. This time, I put my imaginary blinders on and gritted my teeth as others passed me by. Terese actually ran BACKWARDS while talking to me.
Show-off.
But I kept to my predetermined pace, for my predetermined number of laps, then moved on to the predetermined type of recumbent exercise bicycle for a predetermined length of time. The only one available was directly in front of a bank of televisions placed up on the wall, so I plopped down and set the machine in motion.
Oh, good. I thought. TV. Something to keep this from being boring. Wonder what's on?
After a zillion commercials, Paula Deen's dazzling smile flashed on the screen. "Hi y'all!" she drawled. "Today we're making desserts! Let's start with one of my favorite old-timey sweets......."
My interest was piqued. I watched, mesmerized, as she measured and mixed and stirred butter and cocoa and cream cheese and walnuts......I think by this time I was drooling onto the bike controls.
As the program progressed and the cake was baked and frosted and decorated and sliced and placed appetizingly on a beautiful piece of china and her fork bit into the delectable looking slice and she put it into her mouth and made all these yum and mmmm noises, I gradually became aware that I was huffing and puffing and sweating and dripping.
Blink. Blink. Where - where - am I? I thought. I shook my head, slightly dazed.
I sheepishly realized that I had been pedaling away at a furious pace. I swear - I was trying to bike my way over to that red velvet cake - the major problem being of course that I was pedaling on a stationary bike, not a particularly effective mode of transport. And then there's the fact that the aforementioned virtual cake was safely tucked away in a computer somewhere in TV land. I hate to think what would have happened should my bike have suddenly sprouted wheels...
I slumped back in my seat, exhausted and embarrassed. Foiled again. My exercise routine had been derailed by a digitalized cake. Good grief.
After spritzing cleaner and wiping away the drool and sweat from my machine, I wobbled my way back to the locker room, where I was met yet again by the gang of rowdy naked seniors ripping off their swimsuits after a water aerobics class.
Hey, there. I waved at a familiar face or two. I was too tired to think about the fact that I now found this scenario to be just part of the routine at our community center.
So here I am again, recuperating on the couch after overexerting myself, thanks to the Paula Deen incident. Plus the mental image of her cake........could be problematic.
Think you can resist Paula Deen? I double dog dare you to watch her video and then NOT go running to the nearest bakery. I'll post it here, but I'm not going to watch it again.
3 comments:
Hi Julia-LOVED this post! I read someone that Paula Deen is the MOST watched show at gyms--thought that was hilarious. I like to watch her, just to salivate. You probably know this already, however: sugar equals inflammation, so those of us with autoimmune problems really need to minimize it in our diets. I've found that once I haven't had any for a few days, the cravings go away. Best to you!
Hahaha....
Anything that makes stationary bike riding not boring, works for me. I have one in my sewing room, and really, really hate it because I get so bored!
Did you bake a cake when you got home?
Love Paula Deen! We live 45 minutes from Savannah and have been to her restaurant - even the turnip greens were delicious. I never touch them but since they were Paula's I had to try them.
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