Green Eye-d Julia

We live at the top of an extinct volcano. A shield volcano, to be exact. Which means it's more like a ridge than a bump. Technically it's considered one of the foothills of the Cascade mountains, and I love living up here. When we looked at building sites for our house waaaay back when, I took one look at the area and pointed up.

"That's where we're going to build." I'm so glad that John agreed.

I've always been a top-of-the-hill kind of person. I know that it's windy and cold up here in the wintertime, and at about 1000 ft., sometimes a bit of rain at sea level near our local grocery store can quickly turn into ice and snow as I drive my groceries up the hill.  But I love the view, and even when we and all our neighbors are stuck up here when roads are icy and impassable, it never lasts long and feels kind of cozy. Best of all, without fail, the snow never lasts longer than a week or so. I love driving up the hill at night and seeing Portland city lights below.

My point?

So today, I was driving Goldie up our 1000 ft. extinct volcano, an attractive woman caught my eye. She was very fit, had a lovely black lab trotting obediently next to her, and SHE. WAS. RUNNING. UP. THE. HILL. Her blonde ponytail streamed behind her as she effortlessly loped along. UP. THE. HILL.

The nerve.

I was so envious of her for so many reasons. First, she had the discipline to maintain a body like that. From what I could see through my green-hazed glare of jealousy, she was at least forty. So she wasn't counting on that effortless youthful ability to burn a zillion calories an hour. Discipline. Willpower. Motivation. She had to have had it all.

I have owned many dogs, (I guess I should say they have owned me and that's probably the crux of the problem), and not one of them has ever trotted obediently next to me. Ever. Of course, I haven't been capable of loping along effortlessly UP. A. 1000. FOOT. HILL next to any of my dogs with a blonde ponytail streaming behind me, either.

So I began attempting to make myself feel better in the usual way: Ah, poor me. There's no way I could ever be like that fit and active woman. I am a Sjoggie. I couldn't do that for so many reasons - the sun, the fatigue, blah blah blah blah....

Thankfully a small kernel of honesty eventually made itself known somewhere amid all the excuses and platitudes. I have never been able to lope 1000 feet up a hill ever in my life, even long before autoimmune disease showed up, Sjogren's or no. I've never been able to lope up even a 15 foot hill - ever.

I can use autoimmune disease to explain a plethora of my behaviors. But to excuse my lack of dietary self control, or complete absence of dedication to exercise?

Never.