Cranky Feet Can't Dance

Image found here. 

My feet are driving me crazy. And don't tell me that it's a short trip, people......har har.

They hurt everywhere, and I really don't know why. Goodness knows my feet are not aching from over-use. It's suspicious that they began to throb about the same time that my hands began to hurt, so I would guess that maybe autoimmune disease is to blame. Maybe. Who knows?

So, I mulled over my options yesterday. Hm, I thought. If my tootsies really were cranky due to autoimmune disease, I could present myself to the rheumatologist yet again and the odds were good that I'd come home clutching a little white bag with a little white bottle containing a bunch of little white prednisone pills. To add to my stack of little white prednisone pills that I already am taking each morning.

Nah. I really don't want to go there unless I absolutely have to.

What else could I do......hmm...... John suggested that I get myself over to his favorite shoe store. It's one of those places where they take a great deal of time measuring your feet, and then an even longer amount of time convincing you to pay outrageous amounts of money for inserts and shoes. In their defense, however, when John bought their shoes, his foot pain disappeared and two years later, hasn't returned.

So I grudgingly drove myself over to the store and presented my feet to the salesgirl. She let me know that the usual salespersons were not there. She flashed me a bright (and mindless) smile. "We're getting ready for a sale next month!" and advised me to come back then.

Well, Missy, I'm certainly not going to walk around wincing for three more weeks, I thought. So I left the store thinking that maybe more stupid yukky prednisone was my only option.

I stopped at one of those big chain-type stores on the way home to pick up some groceries. And a t-shirt. And maybe a doggie toy or two. Hm...they have towels on sale....you know the place. I limped by the pharmacy section and noticed a big new display for FOOT PAIN PRODUCTS.

Well, now. How fortuitous.

So I dumped my stack of stuff onto the floor next to the display (since I really hadn't planned on picking up more than a head of lettuce but well, you know how it goes) and took a closer look.

By now, I had walked my way through two stores. Painfully. And had used up quite the amount of energy reserves, so my brain meter was hovering between stupid and really stupid. I peered at the instructions posted on the elaborate display through steamy glasses. This was looking pretty complex. The instructions asked the user to step up onto a platform. After touching a computer screen, it then asked the user to perform various gyrations - lean forward, put your left foot up, put your left foot down, lean forward, put your right foot up, put your right foot down.

Yes. I was indeed doing the hokey-pokey. On a display in the middle of a large chain store. I actually drew a crowd. I'm not kidding - three elderly ladies stopped to watch, confessing that they didn't have the courage to give it a try. "We're glad you're doing it first!" one of them chirped.

Thankfully, before the machine asked me to shake it all about - hoo boy, then I'd really have an audience - it lit up with the information that I had requested: the perfect type of shoe inserts that would cure all my foot ailments. I grabbed the inserts placed handily near the display, scooped up my other purchases and retreated around the corner of the next aisle to get a closer look at the product. I thought they seemed a bit pricey but were considerably less expensive than the ones at John's shoe store, so decided to give them a try.

The result?

Well, these things are actually pretty comfy. After wearing them for a couple of days, they have lessened my foot pain considerably, but it hasn't gone away completely. In the meantime I'm popping some extra ibuprofen to help the anti-inflammatory process along. I'll keep y'all posted.

You do the Hokey Pokey and you turn yourself around - and that's what it's all about. Yeah!

Check out this strangely interesting version of the Hokey Pokey: