Survival of the Sjoggie

Image found here. 
My youngest child, home from college on spring break, introduced me to one of those survival shows. You know, the kind where this guy gets dropped off in the wilderness with only a toothpick and a pack of mentos and is expected to survive for a week. 

I find this show fascinating. Survival guy always manages to, of course, survive, and in the process comes up with the darndest tips and tricks to escape the jaws of death. 

While I find this show very entertaining, it has provided me with some unexpected material for late-night musings.....those thoughts that sneak into my head just as I'm about to drift off to sleep. 

What if my car broke down in the middle of the Sahara desert? (Because, of course, I frequently drive across the Sahara...yeah.) Would I remember all of survival guy's methods? 

What if I forgot that bugs with colored legs and a bad odor are probably poisonous? And what's the best way to eat a termite? Would I really consider eating a termite? Or a scorpion? And what the heck did he use the car's radiator fan belt for, anyway?

Could I bring myself to actually - and I am not kidding, he had this on the show - filter urine through desert sand to provide drinking water???

Would I survive if I didn't have three camera crews to document my every agonizing minute? 

And how could a Sjoggie possibly survive anywhere, much less the Sahara, without a case of water bottles, a  Costco-sized container of moisturizer, several boxes of preservative free eye drops, three flavors of sugar free hard candies, lip gloss, and her pill organizer containing at least one week's worth of medications?

I'd be doomed. Better not leave the house until I quit watching those television shows.