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I took Maggie and Sam for a walk today. I try to take them out as often as I can, even if we just make it to the end of the block and back. We live near a paved walking trail, and it's a pretty area with trees and grass. Most of us doggie owners are responsible about picking up the doggie doo-doo that's part of the whole walk routine, but there's those folks who have no qualms about not scooping the poop.
What nerve.
The rest of us take great pains to demonstrate that we wouldn't do such a thing. So when we walk our dogs, after nature calls, we make a great show of flapping open the doo-doo bag, and after making the grab, hold the steamy baggie prominently in front of us as we finish the walk. You get maximum neighbor brownie (sorry - couldn't resist that one) points if this procedure takes place directly in front of the row of homes facing the greenspace. If one meets another dog and owner on the way home, it's important to look for their doo-doo bag with eyebrows raised.
Doggie doo-doo patrol. It's all part being a responsible pet owner. It's so important to do the right thing, but even more important that others know how responsible one is.
About three years ago, the mayor of Petah Tikva, a city near Tel Aviv, called the veterinarian Tika Bar-On and said, “I can fix almost everything in this city, but I don’t know how to fight dog poop.” He asked Bar-On, the city’s director of veterinary services, if it was possible to use DNA fingerprinting to identify which dogs pooped on his city streets and — most important — which owners didn’t pick up after them. As a result, this year, Bar-On introduced the first-ever forensic dog-poop DNA unit.
Sniff. We wouldn't be so gauche as to ask for poopie samples with intent to convict our neighborhood members. We are responsible but civilized, for pete's sake.
I like to think that I'm a responsible patient too.
Whenever I head over to the clinic to see my rheumatologist, I get ready to impress her. I get my labwork done ahead of time so she can scan the results. I try to wear my most lightweight clothing because everyone knows that blue jeans add at least ten pounds when you have to get on the scale. I write out a list of exactly what medications I'm taking and their doses. I arrive five minutes early for the appointment and hold the elevator door for others so that I can impress the receptionist as well. I shamelessly bribe the staff with goodies.
Whew. Do you think that all these attempts to impress others are about as important as the contents of that doo-doo bag?
Yep.
I'll still keep scooping the doggie poo for the neighborhood and bringing home-baked goodies for my hard working doctor and her staff. Maybe I just won't be so obvious about it.
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